blog envy

my sister asked me to update my blog, so i've been sitting here starting blog after blog, one lamer than the next. and then i thought, hmmm... maybe i should make a list of things i would write about if i could write as well as my in-house hemmingway. kinda like, if i could paint, i'd want to paint like jack vettriano... or if i could have my own cooking show, i'd want to be rachael ray.

ok, so if i was blessed with the gift of writing i would write about...

the three boys living above me.
how much i love the elmwood neighborhood i'm living in.
a psychiatric patient who has his shoelaces taken away.
how i met my husband.
my two years in dominica.
the squirrel who lives in the tree outside my house... and how he scares me.
my parents... both sets.
the places my car has been.
my new-found love for decorating a home.
my true affection for musical theatre... and my envy of people that are so good at it.
marshmallows.
the brilliance of kettle corn.
my sister who saved a bald eagle last night.
the past two months and two moves.
my niece who makes me melt.
italy.
how i wish i was an amazing photographer.
why i quit piano lessons... and how i wish i hadn't.
the day my grandfather told me mashed potatos were really called "fortuna."
the squirrel who is looking at me through the window. seriously.

fair weather blogger

i haven't been blogging lately. obviously. i just don't feel like i have anything riviting enough to share... i'll try just sharing the events of my day.

i bought some roman shades today. woo hoo! pier one sale + naked windows in new apartment = pure joy.

the end.

ps - i start my new job tomorrow!! new blogging material will follow...

beam me up

happy birthday, scott!

i couldn't make this up if i tried

a little background:

mike and i have a new apartment, and have begun the painting process. i picked out a shade of white, basically, that is really not what i expected. so, i called sears to see if they can add anything to it to make another color. i talked to a guy named jason who said he would be there for the rest of the night. awesome.

i walked into sears this afternoon, and located the lone salesman in the paint department.

me: hi! are you jason?!

he turned around, and in front of me was napoleon dynamite. seriously. give or take about 20 pounds. a curly bush on top of his head, giant glasses, and an overbite that made me shudder. and the. same. voice.

jason dynamite: (as he looked down at his name tag) i guess.

me: great! i talked to you about possibly changing the shade of paint i bought.

jd: oh yeah. why don't you just give it to your boyfriend.

me: well, 'cause he doesn't need two gallons of white paint.

jd: oh. well, it depends on the shade of paint you want, and whether or not color needs to be added or subtracted. if it has to be added, yes. if it has to be subtracted, no. because you can't subtract color.

me: gotcha. well, i need a gallon of this color, "home spun." can you make one of the gallons into that?

jd: i'm pretty sure i can.

me: it needs to be an exact match, jason, because it's a second coat.

jd: it will be pretty close.

me: ok, jason. i don't think i can bank on that. is it possible to return paint? if it won't get you in trouble i would love to do that and just start over.

jd: oh i won't get in trouble. i'm the section leader here. i'm not the manager or anything, so i can't make those kinds of decisions, but my manager does look to me to lead.

me: awesome. well, i would really like that.

jd: you know, you're really energetic. did you have your coffee today?

me: i'm more of a diet coke girl, myself ('cause i like the taste, not 'cause i need it.)

jd: that's ok. one of my friends drinks two 2 Liters of jolt every day.

me: wow

jd: yeah. well, that's also my friend that drinks hot sauce right out of the bottle.

me: crazy. so how 'bout that return?

jd: (looking a the receipt i produced) whoa, you bought a lot of stuff. new house?

me: yep.

jd: lucky.

me: (don't laugh, lisa, don't. laugh.)

jd: so are there wedding bells in your future?

me: actually, i just got married.

jd: oh.

at this point, jason started mixing one color up for me, while i left the spot to go to the next aisle to look at color swatches. all of a sudden, i hear...

jd: i was engaged... once.

me: (this is too good. must. keep talking.) oh really?! didn't work out?

jd: naw. she thought the world of me. but her grandma didn't like me very much.

me: ah. well, better to find these things out early.

i proceeded to pick out another color, and check out.

me: well, jason, you have neem a huge help! thank you so much, and have a great night!

jd: yeah, i'm gonna have some fun tonight. (beat. beat.) takin' care of grandma.

face lift

i went to the elmwood arts festival this weekend, which i love, and saw this:

faces of buffalo

i think it's a really neat idea, so draw yourselves!

lmg

i went to the dmv today! 20 minutes and $5.00 later, i was officially a Garvey.

then i signed my new license "Lisa Battaglia."

awesome.

second honeymoon

reason #2: (to come to albany)

we won't be here.

yep. mike and i have enjoyed our albany excursion, but UB Law beckoned, and it only took us a few beers to realize another move was in our future. our near future.

founding fathers, anyone? albany is seriously lacking in the free-popcorn department.







i spotted this snappy dresser in rome. all posts are better with pictures :)

project albany

so everyone knows we've moved east. much to our delight, it's proved to be a pretty snazzy city. so, for the next handful of posts (which will probably take me a month to compose) i give you "project albany: reasons you should visit us."

reason #1:
larkfest. we live in this sassy little neighborhood, centered around lark street. on september 17th, we will be 5 houses away from larkfest, an all-day festival, complete with food, shopping, and the dandy warhols.

so come, already.

you border on the adriatic

how many days in a row have you checked this measly little site to see if my mug was still the most recent addition?

that many, huh?

i'm sorry. two weeks turned into 4... allow me to sum up:

july 9th, wedding. awesome.

july 11 - 26, italy. also awesome.

july 27 - 30, pack all earthly posessions. slightly less enjoyable.

july 31st, move to new home with new husband. priceless.

ha! that was such a poor use of that joke. i'm sorry, i really am. all kidding aside, though, our new place in albany (fondly known as albania) is fantastic. we're expecting a couch delivery tomorrow, so the garvey residence is officially open for visitors. come! see the capital! have a burrito!

a marshmallow wedding

best. day. ever.

see you in two weeks!

ju ju bee

ok, so i haven't posted for a while. surprise surprise. i could say "i'm so busy, working, wedding, blah blah blah blah blah."

instead, i'll just introduce you to my first neice, Julia Eagan.

my eyes are still puffy.

i knew this was coming...

well guys and dolls, the day has come. i knew eventually, i would be memed with a topic i was horribly ignorant about, and that day has come.

books.

sure, i read, but while jess is reading The Pelopponesian War, i'm reading The Peasant Blouse, is it Making a Comeback?

so...yeah. this one scares me, but i'll give it a shot.

Number of books I've owned:
hmmm...not too many. most of the good books i've read have been because someone said to me "here, read this book." i do own some of my favorite children's books, though.

Last book I bought:
a guest book for the wedding (which, by the way, is in 13 days. oh. my. God.).

Last book I read:
honestly, i can't even remember the last time i read for leisure. i know, i KNOW, that's horrible. lately, though, i've been spending some real quality time with my NCLEX review book so i can pass my RN licensing exam. helloooooooooo, nurse!

Five books that mean a lot to me:
ok, this i can do. The Monster at the End of this Book, by Grover. yes. sesame street grover. i'm not kidding - it's a great book.

Muppet Manners. this book is brilliant. and histerical. "if you absolutely must tap-dance at the table, at least do it behind your napkin." words to live by...

I Know This Much is True. *gasp* a real book?! yes. i actually did read this book, and i thought it was wonderful.

Emily Post's Etiquette. this one was on loan from my future mom-in-law, and i used it faithfully. who knows how to stuff a wedding invitation? emily does. who knows how to address an envelope when the wife is a doctor and the husband is a cross-dresser?! just ask emily.

ok, i can only think of 4. and since every blogger i know has been memed, i tag leah!

tally ho

what do you call a pastry chef whose restaurant was recently purchased by this guy?


a pastie chef.

alright already

i've grown tired of the blog. can you tell? after a week of no posts, people will think i've abandoned ship, and even worse, mike will take me off his list of links. so, here's a little story...

somewhere around february, i set up two people i know on a date. i don't usually do this, in fact, i've never done this. this particular duo, however, seemed they might click. my intentions, although seemingly honerable, were laced with a bit of... how you say... "maybe-if-you-hit-it-off-you'll-stop-calling-me."

well hot damn, it worked. yesterday, after nearly four months of no contact, i got a call. the first words out of his mouth were "i have to thank you; even though it didn't work out, it was one of the best relationships of my life."

wow. i. am. shocked. yes, i wanted them to go on a date, and yes, i am certainly happy that it resulted in something wonderful for both of them, but c'mon. it was a totally selfish act... that just happened not to bite me in the ass.

so i've bee thinking... if i did that well without trying, am i capable of greater things? i looked up the definition of "matchmaker," and found "self-employed 'busybody'."

have you met me? i'm putting it on a business card.

thunderstorms, cool or scary

last night, scary. i'm all for a good natured thunder storm now and then, but YOWZA last night was a doozy. it was the "someone's-in-my-bedroom-throwing-grenades-at-me" kind of thunder.

so i did what any self-respecting 27 year old would do; plugged my ears, closed my eyes really tight and sang a little happy song in my head.

30 days... but who's counting

esther is right - although queer-eye is one of the most important fixtures of my weekly schedule, there are plenty of life events that deserve some press. namely, a day blocked off on my calendar, exactly one month from today, when i will become mrs. royal toybox.

at this point, all the major players are set. i have a list of things to check off before the big day, but nothing too overwhelming. i had a trilogy of fabulous showers in as many weeks, and the generosity of people astounds me. we've received so many thoughtful and generous gifts over the past few weeks... by the way, if you haven't had the pleasure of registering for things, i highly recommend it. getting a new apartment? register. having a baby? definitely register. your towels are kinda faded, but your birthday is coming up? register! seriously... it's not just for weddings anymore.

so anyway, i think i've got all my bases covered, and i'm not really feeling stressed, but if dreams are any indication, my subconscious is having a nervous breakdown. over the past week, i've been dreaming a lot- i can't remember all of them, but two were too vivid. in the first, we were at the reception, and after dinner all my bridesmaids left. every singly one of them. they told me they were "going home to change," but they never came back. as the night wore on, my father and i had our dance, and the band started playing a waltz. my father acted as if this was the plan all along, and launched into some elaborate choreography, in which i fell no fewer than three times because i didn't know the steps. then, to top the night off, i forgot to buy the favors, but i had remembered the containers - in other words, all the containers that were meant to hold the favors were set out on the table, but they were completely empty. on to dream two, where our mode of transportation to the reception was a large boat, but our ride was halted by giant snakes in the water of the boa constrictor variety. because of the snakes, we had to stay on the boat in the middle of the lake or whatever, and we never made it to the party.

*sigh*

in the grand scheme of things, none of the fluff matters... at the end of the day, i will still be mrs. happiest woman in the marshmallow world, and the royal toybox and i will live happily ever after.

fab five fan

the season premier of queer eye is on tonight. look alive, people.

stop on green

now i could be totally wrong, but do pedestrians have the right of way on a green arrow? i don't think they do. as a driver, i love the green arrow... much to my chagrin, however, it seems all old ladies with walkers also love the green arrow, and take it upon themselves to cross as soon as they sees that flash of green. then i get very mad at said old ladies, but don't honk because i'm afraid i will only slow the process further. and possibly cause a heart attack. *humph*

please advise.

vanity

hey everyone. remember when i wrote on my blog? that was awesome.

i started tanning this week. i know, i know... i really couldn't do anything that's worse for my transparent complexion, but it is because of my transparent complexion that i must tan! only for a little while. 4 weeks to be exact. i just want enough color so that my skin doesn't match my dress.

so i went to the tanning place, having last been there about 5 years prior (probably in anticipation of a senior-something-or-other) and i didn't really remember the routine. not wanting to be the "newbie," however, i played along like i was a pro (i may have given it away, though, when i requested only 5 minutes, which is only 1 minute higher than an albino infant would request...). i went in, gave the girl my name, and she told me i was "all set in room 5." on my way to room 5, though, i saw the ladies room, and decided i would sneak in a quick stop. i left the bathroom, and went right into room 5. as i was disrobing, i noticed a timer on the wall that was counting down, and it was at 3 minutes. "3 minutes?! what does that mean?! i asked for 5, and now it's at 3, and does that mean i just wasted 2 minutes peeing?! get undressed... HURRY!!" i furiously took off what needed to be taken off, jumped into the bed, and reached behind me and hit start. "AHHHH!! i forgot my eye thingie-doeys!!" i hopped out, grabbed the thingies, and got back into the bed. luckily, the timer reset to 5, and all was right with the world. afterward, i got dressed, walked out, and hoped that no one heard my thrashing-about.

i'll be better tomorrow.

lucky charms

on this fine memorial day, i share with you a very memorable moment from the past year; duane! yes. duane is a little person. and yes. he is dancing on the bar.

God bless America.