Sunday, April 24, 2005

nurse speak

*WARNING* the following post contains graphic material.

over the past year or so, i've come to learn a lot about nurses.

for starters, they love to eat... reason #512 why this is the perfect profession for me.

secondly, they're allowed to wear pajamas to work. again, why i didn't realize this sooner, i'll never know.

thirdly, they have their own language. accountants talk numbers. mechanics talk carborators. nurses talk bowel movements. i'm serious. i have never heard a group of people speak more freely about elimination than nurses. the following is an excerpt from an actual conversation i sat in on a few days back:

nurse 1: "hey, how ya' feelin'?
nurse 2: "oh, better, thanks. i've been passing a lot of gas... i think it's helping."
nurse 1: "that's good. as long as it's moving, you should be alright."
nurse 2: "yeah. hey, are you still taking iron supplements?"
nurse 1: "on and off... they're REALLY constipating... sometimes i won't take them for a week because of how bad they bind me up."
nurse 2: "yeah, i've heard they can do that."
nurse 1: "well, it's true. alright, have a good shift!"
nurse 2: "you, too!"

and that was it. i'm off to bake some cookies... hopefully that will give us enough to talk about tonight.


Garvey said...

you made cookies and didn't bring me any?

so hurt.

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