nurse speak

*WARNING* the following post contains graphic material.

over the past year or so, i've come to learn a lot about nurses.

for starters, they love to eat... reason #512 why this is the perfect profession for me.

secondly, they're allowed to wear pajamas to work. again, why i didn't realize this sooner, i'll never know.

thirdly, they have their own language. accountants talk numbers. mechanics talk carborators. nurses talk bowel movements. i'm serious. i have never heard a group of people speak more freely about elimination than nurses. the following is an excerpt from an actual conversation i sat in on a few days back:

nurse 1: "hey, how ya' feelin'?
nurse 2: "oh, better, thanks. i've been passing a lot of gas... i think it's helping."
nurse 1: "that's good. as long as it's moving, you should be alright."
nurse 2: "yeah. hey, are you still taking iron supplements?"
nurse 1: "on and off... they're REALLY constipating... sometimes i won't take them for a week because of how bad they bind me up."
nurse 2: "yeah, i've heard they can do that."
nurse 1: "well, it's true. alright, have a good shift!"
nurse 2: "you, too!"

and that was it. i'm off to bake some cookies... hopefully that will give us enough to talk about tonight.