pass the pickles

hi! i'm over the anger of the last post, so i would like to share the most wonderful thing to come from ice cream creators for some time: the Edy's Slow Churned. simply put, it's heavenly. now, i've grown partial to the caramel delight, however i see on the web site that there are over 30 flavors... but my local grocer only carries a handful. help a girl out, danny wegman!

envy

To my dear neighbors across the street, Mr. and Mrs. Asshat,

I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart for the kind note you left on my windshield this morning, complementing me on my fine parking. Unfortunately, I never got to see it, because my sweet husband took it off my car, thinking it may put a damper on my otherwise glorious day off. But then, oh THEN, you were thoughtful enough to call the F***ING police and have them leave me a little note of their own, wrapped in a bright orange wrapper.

Just a few queries: Were you afraid that the 18 inches of driveway I covered would impede your soccer mobile from exiting your 15 foot driveway? Or were you trying to set a good example for the three shrieking terrors that occupy the back seat of said soccer mobile? Perhaps my bumper was blocking the view of your wolf-dog that scares the ever-loving crap out of all passerby's? Did you call 911, or did you actually take the time to look up the phone number of the local precinct? Did you happen to catch my 38-week-pregnant-ass waddling from the car to my house at midnight last night, after parking in the last possible spot on the street, and that somehow made you determined to make me pay?

Well, Mr. and Mrs. Asshat, I envy you. I envy that you have nothing better to do with your ever-loving time than make it your business to be the street parking patrol. I'd love to help you out, but I have to get down to city court. Why? Because I would rather spend 12 hours in the courthouse than pay that ticket, you dick heads.

Sincerely,

Me

i'm sick of the belly...

on the blog, not on me! i lurve the belly. mike and i finished the painting in the baby's room today, and hot damn, i think it looks awesome. if the baby wasn't going to be so damn cute, i'd want the room for my own.

i've graduated to hospital scrubs for work. what that means is that i've outgrown the ones that i bought, so i went down to the ICU and "borrowed" a fer pair of hospital-issue scrubs. they're not nearly as fun as the hot pink ones i own, but they'll do the trick for the next couple weeks. yes, that's right. WEEKS. if this baby cooks for the reccommended time, it will be out just shy of SIX WEEKS. oy.

pregnancy is supposed to induce a long luxurious mane, so i'm trying to grow my hair. it's growing, and i'm on the expressway to mullet-ville, so i'm getting a trim today.

my new favorite thing to do is sit out on the front porch. mike plays his DS, and i read some magazine (and sometimes there's ice cream involved) and we just sit and talk and watch the world go by... it's heavenly.

view from the top

priorities

Dear Mr. President,

I understand the need for you to be on television from time to time. I can even come to grips with the fact that sometimes it's necessary for you to be on during prime time. But Sir, please, PLEASE, the next time you are going to pre-empt my favorite sit-com, would you please do me the courtesy of alerting me ahead of time. My DVR did not recognize your little speech, and thus cut off the final 20 minutes of my show... and it was the season finale, thank you very much.

Thanks for nuthin',

Lisa

the baby NEEDS this

blah blah blah BABY blah blah blah PREGNANT...

hope you don't mind that this blog has recently become all about being prego, but that's pretty much what i have goin' on lately.

so i went to weggies today. going hungry is never a good idea. going hungry and 7 months pregnant is nothing short of ludacris.

things that found their way into my cart:

pudding cups
dark chocolate covered raisins*
snapple*
tortilla chips
salami
cinnamon toast crunch
alfredo sauce
deli cheese*
extra large lady fingers (the cookies, not an actual fat lady’s fingers)
chocolate ice cream
bologna*

*things i actually consumed before i left the store

checking out at the register with empty packages? not as embarrassing as you may think.

barefoot and pregnant

here's a little pic that mike snapped last night (while giggling at the fact that his wife actually was barefoot and pregnant). the belly has definitely made a name for itself... baby G is due to emerge in exactly 10 weeks. 10 WEEKS, people. luckily, we've recently acquired a basinett, so the baby won't be sleeping in a drawer for the first weeks of life. and we have some diapers. and a LOT of really cute baby clothes, most of them with monkeys on them, so we're all set.

at work, there is an adorable little Italian man that i've been taking care of, and his family is a cast of thousands. according to them, no one is allowed to mention any particular kind of food in front of me, because by doing so, the baby may develop a birth defect. seriously. these people are incredibly sweet, and i humor them by staying tight-lipped about what i may be craving at that particular moment, but they really believe this to be the case. and Italians out there? is this common knowledge and i've just never heard of it?

regardless, i'm starving.

--Updated!

I've wanted to post for a while, now. Yes, I want to share my random innermost thoughts, and sure I have some great things going on that I could talk about, but mostly, I just want to see "--Updated!" next to Marshmallow World on Mikey's blog.

So... in the 20 days since I last posted, my belly has grown significantly. I've gone from wearing clothes that kind of show that I maybe might have a little pot belly possibly protruding over my waistband, to THIS IS SUCH A BABY UP IN THIS BELLY AND I AM WEARING THIS OUTFIT SO YOU WILL DEFINITELY KNOW THAT I AM PREGNANT AND DON'T BE AFRAID TO ASK ME WHEN I'M DUE, AND HERE, I'LL RUB MY BELLY A LITTLE FOR ADDED EFFECT SO YOU'LL KNOW IT'S NOT JUST A BEER GUT. so yeah, I'm enjoying the belly.

The baby is a rock star, by the way. It seriously moves so much that it freaks me out, but then when I say to someone "ooh! come feel the baby kicking!" it stops. The little monkey is mocking me before it's even born. Well done, monkey.

I'm posting this now, and hoping for some instant gratification when I switch over to the Royal Toybox... if it's as exciting as I think it will be, I will be forced to post again. Ta!

10 opinions (and a few facts) for Friday

1. feeling a baby move inside your belly is amazing - freaky deaky weirder than weird - but amazing

2. i just saw a commercial that said kids need a booster seat in the car until they are 4'9''. wow. i just make the cut.

3. pants with a panel? you need some.

4. the armchair in our livingroom is covered with white socks. i'm ok with that.

5. i'm making mashed potatoes out of a box tonight. i'm ok with that, too.

6. my in-laws are flying across the pond this afternoon to Ireland. i hope they see sarah!

7. my favorite wife on Big Love is Jeanne Tripplehorn.

8. mike and i bought paint for Baby G's room today!

9. i laughed out loud yesterday when mike and i drove by a place called Le Nails and mike told me it was a french hardware store.

10. it's peep season!

all growns up

yes, i'm 28 years old.
yes, i'm married.
yes, i'm going to be a mother.
yes, i did go to church this morning.
no, i did not set my clocks ahead last night.

yes, people did snicker as we walked in an hour late.

St. Patrick's Day was 12 days ago, but...

this was still worth posting. to sum up:

• little hats are fun

• mike can, and will, make friends with anyone

• being the sober sister actually was a lot of fun... and it was a lot more fun because of this

don't see it? how about in this shot

so. much. laughing.

can't smile without you

for the last few years, mike and i have spent st. patrick's day in destination cities...

first in new york:

and then in chicago:

this year, we stayed in the good 'ol Lo of Buff, and despite my lack of alcohol consumption, the event was no less memorable. my favorite things?

(see next post! my picture limit was hit...)

seriously.

i will update this blog, honestly i will.

right now, though, i have to get to mcdonalds for one last shamrock shake.

too much garlic?

nursing is an extremely rewarding profession... that goes without saying. on top of that, however, patients and their families will often give small gifts to their nurses - symbols, if you will, of their appreciation for the care you have given their loved one. in the past, i've received cards, cookies, letters, pens (the really neat kind that you get from drug reps), etc.

last week, after caring for a patient for a few days, her brother gave me a token of his appreciation...















i can take a hint.

Toys in here, Towels in here, and Lisa in here.

honk

my sister tackled a goose yesterday. literally, she leapt at it and took it down. she said it sounded like you would expect a bagpipe to sound if you tackled it: "MAERRRRAAAAAAGH"

funny!

in other news, i'm wearing denim overalls that i bought as a halloween costume because they're the only remotely comfortable "can wear out and get away with it" pants that i have left. pants with a panel, here i come!

baby love

Want to meet my baby?

what. the. hell.

this makes me sad. very, very sad.

freaked my freak

this story gave me the shivers when i first heard it.

yesterday's super bowl party was a rousing success... the game between the "yellows" and the "teals" was even moderately entertaining. waaaaayyyy too much food was consumed, but by God it was good. best friends were made, drivers were designated, and mike won thirty bucks in the football pool.

my favorite commercials? ameriquest's "don't judge too quickly."

anyone want to return bottles with me?

breaking the silence

alright already. even i'm sick of looking at the special baby (which, by the way, is 16 weeks old!)

my first order of business: Love Monkey.

it. is. awesome.

first of all, it's title couldn't be better. i have no idea what it means, but like bean dog, it's just good.

secondly, jason priestly is in it. i don't care if you weren't a big 90210 fan - it's nice to see an older, slightly chubbier Brandon Walsh.

third and lastly, the music. in the second episode, there is a great little cameo by ben folds, one of mike's all time fave's. shortly there after, Tom has lunch with the female love interest, Julia, during which she lists her top 5 songs of all time. she had great picks - U2, the cure, etc. etc... and her number one pick? we built this city by STARSHIP. yes. that's right. very few people know this, but that may quite possibly be my favorite song of all time. it's so bad, and yet i love it. needless to say, i'm sold on Love Monkey.

now, if you didn't love Ed, you won't like this show. basically, tom cavanagh lifted his character from Ed, and plopped him into this show. personally, i love his bumbling wit, so i'm in heaven.

watch it!